ITHACA—As students return to campus for another hybrid semester, many long to reclaim their lost semesters. Whether you’re a wide-eyed freshman trying to craft a public indecency-free bucket list or a dejected senior mourning the inevitable loss of your Catherine Street block party, this list is for you. Here are our top 10 things to…
Exciting! I just got a phone notification, and it looks like I received a text from one of my friends whom I haven’t heard from in a while. I wonder what she’ll say! Maybe she’ll ask me how I’m doing, or perhaps how my finals went. Oh. It appears she just sent me a link…
I’ll admit it. I haven’t been doing so hot. This hasn’t been my year, my decade, or even my lifetime. The truth is, I just don’t feel very good about myself or anything else really. I think I vaguely remember experiencing joy when I was four years old and watching Thomas the Tank Engine on…
In light of the growing number of COVID cases and the approaching holiday season, hoards of infected students have returned home to their families to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday like it was originally celebrated: with the spreading of potentially lethal infectious diseases. “Lately I’ve been trying to become more in touch with my colonizer roots,”…
Yikes! Struggling student CornellThrowaway75 just posted a several-paragraph long rant and emotional plea for help on the Cornell subreddit. Oh no! What does he expect from them! In the post, the troubled Redditor sought out advice from the eclectic strangers of r/Cornell. He cited worries about a virtual semester, his future as a pre-med, trouble…
BooOO! Halloween this year turned out to be one for the books. Never mind the ghastly costumes and unexpected frights; this holiday’s freakiest monsters were people so idiotic, they broke social distancing guidelines to go to a large party AND broadcast the whole thing on their Instagram stories! Scary! These spectres haunted Collegetown throughout the…
Everyone knows the words with which Ezra Cornell started his eponymous university: “I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study.” But that doesn’t tell you what to expect in those studies, now does it? So, here is our list of what the defining statement for each and every Cornell…
ZOOM—Obnoxiously trying to broaden his horizons and get the most out of his short time at Cornell, sophomore Alex Latell ‘23 is willing to go above and beyond the call of duty to understand Data Structures. “When I asked my friends their thoughts on last week’s optional reading, they originally looked at me like I…
While on a trek to Nasties for a 1:00 a.m. meatball sub, I suddenly realized that I was in what seemed to be a large forest. There wasn’t a soul in sight. You know what that means—I can let down my mask and breathe in the crisp fall air! No risk of COVID-19 transmission here!…