Category Archives: Uncategorized

Celebrate Black History Month at Cornell with Your Favorite Black Friends

It’s February, so that means it’s time to celebrate Black History Month! We all know about Martin Luther King Jr. and Harriet Tubman, so let’s take this opportunity to reflect on all of the meaningful connections you have made with your black friends, emphasis on the “s!”  What a good Read More

Liberal Slant? This Entire School Is About Labor

Colleges are meant to be bastions of free speech, teaching young adults how to think for themselves. Unfortunately, today’s colleges fall far from the mark. Whether it’s professors spouting opinion as fact, or the violent campus protests, it’s obvious that these so-called ‘glands of diverse thinking’ are culpable of silencing Read More

21 FWS Names I’m Ashamed To Have On My Transcript

1) FWS: Let’s Play — I got a C- in Yahtzee. 2) FWS: Modern Romance: Dating and Relationships Among Young Adults — “Hot tip,” said my sixty-year-old professor, “say, ‘Hiya toots!’ by the jukebox, and y be doing the jitterbug in no time.” 3) FWS: Talk. Writing is for Pussies Read More

Prank Gone Wrong? All Of The IUDs At Cornell Health Have Been Replaced With Rick-Roll Buzzers

Photo from the Cornell Daily Sun Most people love a good old-fashioned prank, but this might be taking it a bit far. Cornell Health staff and patients have recently discovered that some devious little pranksters replaced all the IUDs with Rick-Roll Buzzers! “I had just gone to Cornell Health to Read More

NDA Disaster! To Avoid Rick & Morty Leaks, Dan Harmon Is Only Allowed To Talk About Last Year’s Season of ‘Extreme Couponing’

This article was sponsored by the Cornell University Program Board for the event “An Evening With Dan Harmon” on Nov. 10th at 7:00PM Bailey Hall. Tickets available at: Now, we’ve heard of strict NDA’s, but this might be pushing it! In a foolhardy attempt to keep Dan Harmon from Read More