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May 24, 2025
  • I LIVED IT: I Swiped Up On Spotify While Clearing My Apps and Had To Live With The Unbearable Pain of My Unadulterated Thoughts for 5 Seconds
  • Ah Shit: Weird Roommate Staring At You While Brushing Their Teeth Again
  • “I Love Your Style!” and Twenty-Five Other Compliments to Give Your Friend Who Made Spitting Noises for Thirty Minutes at Their A Cappella Concert
  • Godspeed, Loyal Friend! Most Steadfast Donkey Collapses on Arduous Journey Up College Ave

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  • I LIVED IT: I Swiped Up On Spotify While Clearing My Apps and Had To Live With The Unbearable Pain of My Unadulterated Thoughts for 5 Seconds

    2 years ago2 years ago
  • Ah Shit: Weird Roommate Staring At You While Brushing Their Teeth Again

    2 years ago2 years ago
  • “I Love Your Style!” and Twenty-Five Other Compliments to Give Your Friend Who Made Spitting Noises for Thirty Minutes at Their A Cappella Concert

    3 years ago3 years ago
  • Godspeed, Loyal Friend! Most Steadfast Donkey Collapses on Arduous Journey Up College Ave

    3 years ago3 years ago
  • False Advertising? Farmers at Farmers’ Market Not Available for Purchase

    3 years ago3 years ago
  • Day of Atonement Fail! Student Still Business Major

    3 years ago
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  • Bill Nye

Bill Nye

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Devastating: Mufasa Was Trampled to Death in a Stampede Of Freshman

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

Disaster struck Ithaca this Friday night, when it was reported that Mufasa, King of Pride Rock, passed away from injuries sustained after being trampled by dozens of drunk freshmen in Collegetown. In a statement yesterday, Ithaca Police stated that Mufasa was hunting for food for his family on College Ave around 10:30 pm on Friday,…

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Let’s Make Bill Nye the Science Guy Our New Football Coach

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago03 mins

Let’s face it, the Cornell Football team isn’t doing so well. Our head coach David Archer has been doing the best he can, but after almost a winless season last year and so far a winless season this year, it’s time for someone new. That’s why we’re trying to get Bill Nye the Science Guy…

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