Tag Archives: Dog

Mental Health Win: Cornell Health Releases 40 Therapy Dogs into the Wild

CORNELL HEALTH—At a Friday morning launch event, representatives from Cornell Health’s Strategic Mental Health Task Force released dozens of trained therapy dogs to freely roam campus in an effort to reduce patient wait times.

“We hear a lot about folks not wanting to wait three months to meet with a mental health counselor,” explained task force chairwoman Natalie Caldrino, “so we thought playing to students’ hunter-gatherer instincts would be the next best alternative.” 

According to sources familiar with the matter, the dogs were initially supposed to be trackable via an app, but upon learning about the associated costs, Cornell Health instead opted to let the dogs go and hope for the best. 

“I suffer from severe anxiety and waiting around for a counselor to see me was getting pretty stale,” said Noah Pendor ’22 “But who needs a counselor when you can chase down a cold, frightened animal and force it to comfort you.” 

As of press time, there were no more dogs.

Is There Too Much Political Correctness on College Campuses, and Has Anyone Seen My Lost Dog?

The college campus was once a place where students, academics, and all great thinkers were free to share new ideas. The knowledge, technology, and advancements born from a university’s exchange of ideas saw no limits. But is political correctness now inhibiting the creative potential of universities? And has anyone seen Max, my missing cocker spaniel?

While I sympathize with the P.C. movement, I think it goes too far sometimes. It’s fair to stand up for what you believe in, but to the extent where many prominent comedians and entertainers no longer tour colleges because of protests against jokes? That’s too much.

Speaking of going too far, I bet Max is still in Collegetown. He only ran away from my apartment on Dryden last night, so he couldn’t have gone more than a few miles. If anyone reading this is on Eddy or Catherine now, can you take a look out the window for me please? He’s brown and white and wearing a collar with “Max” and my phone number on it. Thanks.

Political correctness can also hurt the media. For example, if I used the “R” word in this article, people might protest to shut us down and accuse us of hate speech. Whatever happened to freedom of the press, or the first amendment?

Here’s something I DO know you can say: “Max.” Again, that’s my dog’s name. If you’re just walking around, please call out his name, maybe he’s just hiding. He also responds to “Buddy.”

Only time can tell what the post-PC campus will bring. Will bright, diverse minds stop coming to Cornell? Will all non-progressive media be censored? Will the ASPCA return my message? I urge you all to think about the negatives of PC, and email/call me if you’ve seen my dog- any information is good information!