Inspiring: Student Dedicates Self to Keeping Bridge Clean and Censoring Any Pro-Hong Kong Speech

Most students will just keep walking by when they see “Fight For Freedom” stickers cluttering up the bridge between the engineering quad and Collegetown, but not sophomore Jackson Huang. The dedicated young maverick has taken it upon himself to keep Cornell’s campus spotless, as well as suppress any and all Read More

8 Bus Companies We’d Rather be Sued by Than ShortLine

Cornell Campus to Campus: C2C is a beloved student institution that runs from Cornell to New York City. We’d love to be sued by them almost as much as we’d love to be able to afford their tickets. Sure, they’re pricey and might take us for all we’re worth (approximately Read More

This Is Just a List Containing the Words Okenshields and Bingalee Dingalee Because You Tasteless Fuckers Will Eat This Shit Up

People keep commenting about how we should “totally write an article about Okenshields or Bingalee Dingalee”, so you know what, here you go. This is the kind of least common denominator article you tasteless fuckers want. This is what you asked for. Okenshields There it is. There’s the word that Read More

Power Move: TA Uses Lecture Hall Microphone in Discussion Section of 12 Students

A small discussion section for ECON 3120 got more than they bargained for Thursday morning when TA Tyler Kettle whipped out a large headset microphone clearly intended for use in a large auditorium. “Let’s start by going over the syllabus…” Tyler started, acting confident that his dominance had been asserted Read More

Inspiring: This Freshman Signed Up For a Class With None of the Prereqs and Now He’s Fucked

It’s definitely not easy taking a class you know absolutely nothing about. But Luke Zhang ‘23 enrolled in PHYS 4230: Statistical Thermodynamics despite having taken none of its three prerequisite classes. And it was a huge mistake! “I don’t really have the math background to be in this class. Or Read More