Category Archives: Uncategorized

Champagne and Shackles Not Kinky Enough? Try These Alternative Date Nights:

Absinthe and Anal Body Shots and Butt Plugs Cocktails and Cock Rings Daiquiris and Double Penetration Eggnog and Edging Fireball and Facials Grey Goose and Golden Showers Hennessy and Hot Wax Irish Whiskey and Inflatables Jungle Juice and Japanese Tentacles Keg Stands and Kidnappings Limoncello and Leashes Moonshine and Muzzle Read More

Out of Touch With Student Needs? I Said Hi to Martha Pollack And She Didn’t Say Hi Back

I don’t know about you, but I think that given today’s on-campus climate, students need support more than ever. I expect school officials to bend over backwards to let students know they’re on our side. That’s why I was profoundly disappointed yesterday when I greeted Martha Pollack on the sidewalk Read More

Real-Life Avengers! After Graduation, Half Your Friends Will Disappear

If you have friends in the Class of 2019, you’re getting ready for the emotional transition from always spending time together to not seeing each other for a long, long time, if ever. Eventually, your memories of one another will begin to dissipate, like dust in the wind. It’ll be Read More

Life Hack: Save Time Writing Papers by Redacting Everything

Ever find yourself nine pages deep on a Friday night, trying to get to that sweet, sweet number 10? Well, our team of successful students and espionage attorneys have the perfect solution for you! Everyone knows about enlarging periods or expanding margins to lengthen your essay, but this one trick Read More

Earth Day Hero? This Guy Won’t Unsubscribe From the Oceanography Newsletter

While most people don’t seem to give two shits about climate change, one courageous student has proven his dedication to environmental activism by continuing to not unsubscribe from the Oceanography Newsletter. Does he care that his email inbox is already crowded as is? Sure he does. But to Alexander Xiao Read More