Category Archives: Uncategorized

Best Day Ever? This Physics Lecture Was Canceled Because the Professor Was in the Hospital

Classes haven’t even been going for a week, but today the students of PHYS 2207 received the best news they’ll get all semester—when they all arrived at class this morning, they were informed that lecture was canceled because their professor was in the hospital! Talk about good fortune! Some days Read More

Heartwarming: When This Upcoming Transfer Was Unable To Attend, Cornell Promptly Replaced Her Spot!

When financial setbacks prevented upcoming transfer Divya Martin from being temporarily unable to afford attendance at Cornell, the admissions department bravely acted with their hearts and gave her spot to a well-connected student who had been on the waitlist! All of us were so heartbroken by Divya’s story. Not only Read More

Palindrome Lovers Rejoice:Eciojer Srevol Emordnilap

If you’re a literary fanatic, you’re in luck—palindromes are back! !kcab era semordnilap—kcul ni er’uoy ,citanaf yraretil a er’uoy fI. 2019 is the year for words and phrases spelled the same backward and forward, and will have palindrome-haters shouting “Dammit, I’m mad,” according to Anna Renner, an avid diva. .avid Read More

How to Look Cute Wearing the Awful Fucking Sweater Your Bitch Grandma Gave You

Now that the holiday season is wrapping up, here are some tips for how to look more cute and less like an all-out assault on the eyeballs when wearing the absolutely nauseating sweater you just got from your bitch of a grandma.   Be yourself! Even though your dumbass grandma Read More

Student With Job Interview Lookin’ All Fancy All of a Sudden

Walking around in a brand-spankin’ new suit and with a big fat leather resume folder to boot, students confirmed local senior Hari Srinivasan had a job interview and was lookin’ all fancy all of a sudden. “Whaaaat?” said fellow student Lindsey Fong. “This guy usually wears one kind of clothes, Read More