Tag Archives: Email

Earth Day Hero? This Guy Won’t Unsubscribe From the Oceanography Newsletter

While most people don’t seem to give two shits about climate change, one courageous student has proven his dedication to environmental activism by continuing to not unsubscribe from the Oceanography Newsletter.

Does he care that his email inbox is already crowded as is? Sure he does. But to Alexander Xiao ‘21, champion of the planet, knowing all the most up-to-date information about unsustainable fishing practices and plastic debris in the Pacific Ocean is all the reason he needs to stay subscribed.

“Sometimes I see emails with the subject line ‘Ocean-L’ and wonder if subscribing to this chain is even worth it,” Alexander said, “but I won’t unsubscribe and be like all those students okay with the prospect of ice-free Arctic summers by the year 2035.”

Nevertheless, he persisted. No matter the political, economic, and social obstacles that might lead someone to abandon their civic duty and remove themselves from the oceanography mailing list, Alexander remains committed to allowing undergraduate TAs to send him an email once or twice a week.

“What’s important is that everyone knows that I am a great person, and that I’m doing a big favor to the planet by sometimes skimming over this stuff. I’m not saying I deserve an award, but I’m also not saying I don’t deserve one,” concluded Alexander.

Cornell is lucky to have an environmental fighter like Alexander, and we hope one day his sacrifice of inbox cleanliness might even balance out the plastic water bottles he throws into the landfill trash can at Trillium every weekday.

Can You Unsubscribe from This Listserv?

Remember that organization you were sort of interested in joining back in your college-is-a-time-to-try-new-things phase, so you put your name down for their listserv even though you knew you’d never join? Well it’s us! And we’re going to send you 15 emails a week! If you would like to unsubscribe from this listserv, please hit “unsubscribe.”

1. Are you sure you want to unsubscribe?



http://opportunitykaiti.weebly.com/uploads/1/1/5/5/11551444/5226915_orig.pngSeems like you’re asking to unsubscribe from this listserv. We’re sad to see you go. We wouldn’t want you to miss out on any important updates from our organization, which we promise will be brief and infrequent! Now, are you really sure you want to unsubscribe?



http://www.marcresearch.com/blogs/merrill/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/second-chance-e1378317107380.jpgWoah there, you’re hurting our feelings! All we ever wanted to do was give you quick and to-the-point updates from our organization… because we care about you! Will you give our listserv another chance?


4. 2635300279_eae35eff3bWell, well, well, looks like we’re going to have to do this the hard way. This is Pablo. Pablo is a 3-week old kitten we found abandoned outside your building. If you want to stay on the listserv, click to give Pablo food, shelter, and kitten friends for the rest of his days. If you still want to leave this listserv, we kick Pablo to the curb.


5. http://i.imgur.com/T459Fpr.jpgAre you sure you want to leave us? I wouldn’t be too sure after you hear this. We’ve captured your girlfriend, Karen, and we’re brainwashing her to become part of this listserv. She keeps calling your name… like you could possibly save her now! Stay on the listserv and she goes free. Leave, and she goes in the trash compactor.


6. https://sinisterrobot.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/cthulhu3-flat.jpgYou heartless fool! May her screams haunt you forever. But still… we see potential in you. We want you to join us, in our quest to spam the entire earth with our listserv emails. If you stay, we promise you all your earthly desires: money, power, love. We will find you a new Karen. You will live the life you’ve only dreamed of. But if you choose to leave now, a life of despair awaits you. Everyone you know and love will turn against you. You will no longer receive our emails or any shred of happiness.


7. http://img00.deviantart.net/c1b2/i/2015/140/d/5/mythical_beast_cerberus_by_dbsiszero-d8u4csr.jpgNow you’ve really angered the beast! This listserv has no tolerance for absconders and vile betrayers! Stay, and join our listserv as we continue our journey to plague the whole world with our emails, or enter into the firey depths of Hell! Only there will you be free from our vicious spam.


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