I’ll admit it: every so often I get down on myself for my total lack of accomplishment and inability to celebrate even the smallest things in life. However, that all changed today when I realized how good the inseam of my jeans felt on my pussy!
I’m not just referring to the tough seam pressing up against my pubic region either, I’m talking rough stitching rubbing against my fleshy labia, moving my floppy clitoral hood in circles, and vaginal lubricant seeping through my eight-year-old Target underwear. What’s better is I thought the thick blue denim of my jeans would soak up all the juices, but it just made me wetter! Talk about pussy power!
So friends with vaginas, if you’re ever feeling down about your partner not making you orgasm, or just not having any reason to celebrate your body, throw on your favorite pair of tight and out-of-fashion skinny jeans and get to rocking those hips all day long!
Today is International Women’s Day. Better known as March 8th, today is a day on which we celebrate the many achievements of women around the world. As a woman, I have had several accomplishments that have made this day worth celebrating, but nothing takes the cake quite like getting a job even after my interviewer asked me a sexist question!
Now I am not going to lie, I was certainly taken aback when my interviewer asked if I had plans to get pregnant any time in the next 15 years or if I was worried about the big scary machinery ruining my perfectly manicured nails. Not wanting to ruin my chances of receiving an offer, I responded as any woman in STEM would with an overenthusiastic “absolutely not!” through a faux smile and gritted teeth. Pussy power ladies!
Plus, the interviewer was only like the VP of this company so it’s not like he’ll treat me exactly the way he did during the interview, if not worse, in a real workplace environment. If it’s anything like my engineering classes here, I’ll at best be ignored and at worst be given all the non-technical tasks because my dumb female brain can’t comprehend anything besides “don’t overcook dinner.”
Who am I kidding? I’m sure I can easily prove to my all-male my coworkers that I’m not just some object to be sexually harassed. After I demonstrate my strong work ethic and technical know-how, they will soon realize that I am actually a very capable object, just not one cut out for upper management. F*minism FTW!