GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Thought you were a special student? Think again! After years of studying psychology, Francis Elkhart ‘21 is making a name for himself as the next Sigmund Freud. His secret? He has an unrelenting desire to fuck his mother!
No other psychology student has anything close to Francis’s gift for wanting to schlong his mama. Tough luck for all you fakers and penis-envy posers who spend all night studying. You’ll never have the natural talent or the heart-pumping, mom-fucking passion of Francis.
Ever since he was four years old, Francis knew two things for sure: he wanted to become a psychologist and he wanted to make fervent love to the one who birthed him. And if that wasn’t enough, Francis’ younger sister is already planning to fuck half of Asia in the style of prominent former politician Genghis Khan. Guess some of these things just run in the family!