sick | CU Noozfeed

It’s that time of year again! The leaves are changing, the temperatures are dropping, the prelims are stressing, and the sneezes are sneezing. Is your immune system adult enough to handle the changing seasons or are you going to be the weak bastard who infects us all?

1. Tonight’s forecast is a low of 38ºF. How will your immune system react?

Pshh a little temperature drop can’t harm me. My immune system can suck it up in my shorts and t-shirt.

I fucking hate Ithaca.

Nothing that some herbal tea and a cozy sweater can’t solve!

I am not sick. I will not get sick. I am immune.

2. Someone just sneezed! What do you do?

Shut the windows, close the doors. We’re all going down together.

What is this, the contagion? I’m never stepping outside my room again.

Take a big whiff, there’s no avoiding fate now.

I will forever breathe with my shirt pulled above my nose.

3. Your upcoming prelim is totally stressing you out. How do you deal with it?

My diet will consist entirely of Vitamin C packs.

A hot shower and then immediately running outside in the cold sounds like a great stress-relieving activity.

Nothing will keep me from Level B.

I think I’ll just have a relaxing evening and share a few bottles of wine with 20 of my closest friends.

4. There’s no soap left in the restroom soap dispenser. What do you do?

Not to worry, I always carry my own industrial-sized hand soap dispenser in my backpack!

I’ll grab some soap next time around.

They say this hand sanitizer kills 99.9% of all germs, so odds are this is nothing to sweat about.

Looks like it wasn’t meant to be.

5. You just got invited to a wine tour this weekend, but it’s going to be a high of 55ºF and rainy. Do you attend?

Only wimps say no to wine tours.

Of course! Alcohol kills most bacteria anyway.

There will be so many human bodies cramped on that bus—we’ll definitely all stay nice and toasty.

Cold, soggy, and barely dressed? Hell no. I’d rather pull two all-nighters studying for my biochem prelim and raw-ass the Olin Basement toilet at 2AM.

6. Oh shit, your roommate is sick! What now?

They’ve coughed in my face so many times—if I haven’t gotten sick by now I doubt I ever will.

Guess I’ll go hitch a tent on the Arts Quad right about now.

If I turn up the thermostat to match their internal body temperature, it’ll kill all the germs, right?

Time to extract some of their bodily fluids for a homemade flu shot!

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QUIZ: Is Your Immune System Adult Enough to Handle the Changing Seasons, Or Will You Infect Us All with the Flu?