Cornell Should Divest From Fossil Fuels and Buy Me a Canada Goose Jacket

Let’s face it – Cornell’s current commitment to fossil fuels is irresponsible and hypocritical. If the administration claims to be preparing its students for the future, they’re sure doing a bad job. However, Cornell can better help me prepare for the brutal upcoming Ithaca winter by divesting from fossil fuels and using the money they save to buy me a Canada Goose jacket.

The global impact of Cornell divesting entirely from fossil fuels and buying me one Canada Goose jacket is tremendously positive. Habitats won’t be ruined by natural gas drilling, and sea creatures won’t be suffocated by oil spills. Compare that to a Canada Goose jacket, which only costs the life of one coyote and several ducks. It’s a net gain to society, and a small price to pay to make the world a better place.

Plus, I’m not even asking for the $920 Expedition Parka, just one of the normal, run of the mill, Canada Goose Jackets, like the Camp Hood Lite Jacket at $575. Cornell is still saving a ton of money in addition to better preparing one of its students for the winter.

Some divestment opponents claim that the university ultimately makes money on the investments, helping to maintain our facilities, lower our tuition, and fund research. And that’s a fair point. So, maybe you guys could just divest about $650 from fossil fuels and use that for the jacket. The point here is that I want a Canada Goose, and the university should pay for it. If that also makes environmentalists happy, then great.

The university has a pretty obvious decision to make here. Save the planet by divesting money from fossil fuels toward my winter comfort and style, specifically via a Canada Goose jacket. It’s time the university start actually caring about its students and their future.

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