12 New Year’s Resolutions We’re Definitely Keeping This Year

It’s New Year’s Eve! That means we’re going to make a bunch of resolutions for 2016, but unlike previous years, this time we’re definitely going to keep those resolutions, and you can hold us to it! Here’s what we plan to get done this year:

1. Exercise Daily

2. Learn martial arts

3. Inherit multi-million dollar company


4. Find out who murdered our parents

5. Devote life to fighting crime


6. Invent bullet-proof combat suit


7. Rid the city of gang violence, human trafficking, terrorism and drug trade

8. Defuse the bomb

9. Rappel down skyscraper


10. Arrive in nick of time

11. Save loved ones from certain doom

12. Lose 15 pounds

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