Tag Archives: ILR

Alice Song / Sun Staff Photographer

Crisis Averted! Almighty Student Assembly Obliterates ILR-HumEc Merger with Sternly-Worded Resolution

Dropping the cold hammer of institutional justice, the Student Assembly smote the unpopular ILR-Human Ecology merger this past week by passing an entirely symbolic Resolution. Whoopee!


The all-powerful protectors of the student body convened Wednesday and, with the ruthless efficiency we’ve come to expect from the SA, struck down the insidious proposal in one swift and brutal death blow. Student Government win!

The harshly disapproving resolution not only wiped away the fears felt by many that the administration is unresponsive to students, but it also quelled the doubts any might have had about whether the SA was anything other than a mighty shield against the forces seeking to undermine the university.

At press time, students in all colleges were resting easy knowing that the long arm of the SA would protect them whenever evil should rear its ugly head.

Liberal Slant? This Entire School Is About Labor

Colleges are meant to be bastions of free speech, teaching young adults how to think for themselves. Unfortunately, today’s colleges fall far from the mark. Whether it’s professors spouting opinion as fact, or the violent campus protests, it’s obvious that these so-called ‘glands of diverse thinking’ are culpable of silencing conservative thought. Just take Cornell University as an example. They have a entire school just about labor.

Talk about some liberal indoctrination.

When I sent my son to the “Industrial and Labor Relations” school, I was hoping he would learn how to analyze ideas critically and become an independent thinker, but it’s obvious that the Cornell libs are only concerned with filling his head with ridiculous fallacies like minimum wages or workers compensation. I mean what are they gonna have next? Free student health care? A graduate student’s union? A gulag for all dissenters to rot until the end of their four year college terms?

I’m sorry, but if you’re gonna have a school about labor laws, there should also be a school dedicated not only to bypassing said labor laws, but also lobbying in Congress to keep worker’s rights to a minimum at best. If I had my way, there would be a P.E. dedicated to breaking up union strikes, but I’m sure that would be too much for the snowflakes over at Big Red.

It just seems like Cornell is only concerned with spouting Marxist ideology, rather than teaching about important things like the free market, American values, and how the plight of the individual laborer is a socialist myth. Cornell better get it together soon, or else our future leaders will be enrolling us all into one giant commie union.