Tag Archives: Sorority

Inspiring! Sorority Elects All-Female Eboard

Sisters of Kappa Nu Kappa were blown away last Sunday by the amazing news that every single spot on their next eboard will be taken by a woman.

“I was in shock when I realized,” said new Vice President Wendy Lennon ‘20. “None of us noticed until we all sat down for an eboard meeting, and then we all were like…wait a minute…our sorority eboard has no men???”

Yes, ladies! Take down the patriarchy!

The sorority reached out to the Panhellenic Council to find out if this is the first all-female sorority eboard in history, and Council President Cindy Sweeney ‘20 was floored by the news. “No men? Not even the President? What?! But how does it work?

Um, girl power, Cindy! That’s how!

Marie-Anne Conner ‘22, a member of the sorority, explained: “We just chose the most qualified candidates, without thinking about gender as a factor. I know it sounds like a miracle, but it really did happen. Against all odds, the eboard of our sorority is 100% women.” You go, girls!

If you’re worried that KNK’s new eboard might waste this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, don’t be: they’ve already jumped into action and sent a strongly-worded letter to a nearby fraternity with an all-male eboard.

QUIZ: Art Thou Worthy Enough To Mix With Us?

Sure, thy may hath the swank in her soul, but dost thou fit the fill to mix with us?

1. Dost your lecherous soul permit the showing of the ankle?

 
 
 

2. Does thine body shine with a light unseen by most men?

 
 
 

3. Dost thou walk like a goddess and talk like a governor?

 
 
 

4. Is your father well regarded in the presence of a monarch?

 
 
 

5. Dost thou wardrobe resign in the clutches of adequacy?

 
 
 

6. As the great Robert Frost said, “The gondolas of fear carry us away on heathenous tides”

 
 
 

7. Wouldst thou shotgun this keystone with me?

 
 
 

Question 1 of 7