Tag Archives: Housing

Screwed Over by Housing Lottery? Check Out These Available Options for Next Year!

Today marks the beginning of room selection for 2017–2018 on-campus housing. For everyone with a lousy time slot, take a gander at these available options!

  • A two-person tent for five blocking friends, am I right?
  • The closet behind the larger closet on the fourth floor in Rose House
  • The box-ish thing that sticks out of the top of Duffield
  • TCAT bus 31
  • With the MisterWives and all their wives
  • “The Knoll” and “Also The Knoll,” but also the knoll
  • The ATM station in Collegetown across from Oishii Bowl (accommodates 2)
  • Under our toasty pile of Title IX investigations
  • Gun Hill
  • An actual hill
  • Inside the historic clocktower with the Chimesmasters
  • Abroad
  • Outside Congressman Tom Reed’s office, with an angry cardboard sign
  • CS 2110 office hours, if you’re interested in communities that truly capture the Cornell experience
  • In the sandwich line at Temple of Zeus
  • …Where the architects live?
  • If the travel ban is upheld: the dorms that were being reserved for fellow students from Iran, Syria, Sudan, Libya, Yemen, and Somalia
  • Somewhere in the Finger Lakes with all the other lost Outdoor Odyssey trippers
  • CTB, except for the hours of 2–6 AM so good luck, suckers
  • The Cornell Football Team’s trophy room (there should be plenty of space)
  • That tall tree on the Arts Quad that’s clearly better than all the other trees
  • In a constant state of denial

Nice! Happy house-hunting!


I’ve lived in my house on Oak Avenue for the past year or so, and I love everything about it. My housemates, my kitchen, my second floor bedroom, even my basement. But if there’s one thing I have to say I hate about living in my Collegetown house, it’s the GODDAMN WEIRDO LIVING IN MY FUCKING ATTIC.

I don’t want to sound petty, but I just think that for the price of off-campus housing in Ithaca, local landlords could be a bit more sensitive to issues like malfunctioning air conditioners or a creep who CLIMBS DOWN THE GUTTER EVERY NIGHT AND EATS OUR LEFTOVER CASSEROLE.

I’m sure our attic dweller is a fine person, but we don’t know him, he doesn’t pay rent and quite frankly I think we could do without the MURMURS COMING FROM ABOVE. It just seems like something we should have been made aware of in our lease before we signed last September, that we would be IN CONSTANT FEAR OF THE SCARY SON OF A BITCH LIVING INSIDE OUR ROOF.

We’ve called numerous times over the past few months about this, but each time our landlord has promised to send a maintenance man over to smoke the ceiling fiend out of hiding, we’ve always been forced to deal with it ourselves. I, for one, am tired of CHASING AN UNWANTED RAT OF A HUMAN OUT OF MY HOUSE EVERY WEEKEND WITH A FLY SWATTER.

I hope you can see where I’m coming from. Anyone who has to deal with this from their landlord should speak up and let the community know we’re tired of BOARDING UP THE ATTIC DOOR FOR A MONTH AND STARVING THIS HORRIBLE PERSON OUT OF OUR HOME.