March 13, 2017

Screwed Over by Housing Lottery? Check Out These Available Options for Next Year!

Today marks the beginning of room selection for 2017–2018 on-campus housing. For everyone with a lousy time slot, take a gander at these available options!

  • A two-person tent for five blocking friends, am I right?
  • The closet behind the larger closet on the fourth floor in Rose House
  • The box-ish thing that sticks out of the top of Duffield
  • TCAT bus 31
  • With the MisterWives and all their wives
  • “The Knoll” and “Also The Knoll,” but also the knoll
  • The ATM station in Collegetown across from Oishii Bowl (accommodates 2)
  • Under our toasty pile of Title IX investigations
  • Gun Hill
  • An actual hill
  • Inside the historic clocktower with the Chimesmasters
  • Abroad
  • Outside Congressman Tom Reed’s office, with an angry cardboard sign
  • CS 2110 office hours, if you’re interested in communities that truly capture the Cornell experience
  • In the sandwich line at Temple of Zeus
  • …Where the architects live?
  • If the travel ban is upheld: the dorms that were being reserved for fellow students from Iran, Syria, Sudan, Libya, Yemen, and Somalia
  • Somewhere in the Finger Lakes with all the other lost Outdoor Odyssey trippers
  • CTB, except for the hours of 2–6 AM so good luck, suckers
  • The Cornell Football Team’s trophy room (there should be plenty of space)
  • That tall tree on the Arts Quad that’s clearly better than all the other trees
  • In a constant state of denial

Nice! Happy house-hunting!

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