Tag Archives: therapy

DIY Therapy for Your Month-Long Wait for CAPS

While you’re waiting 30 or more days for professional treatment to address your mental health problems, CU Nooz has a list of fun things that you can do in the meantime!

  • Try talking to an empty chair. Empty chairs are basically the same thing as people.
  • Tell yourself your hyperventilation is a delayed reaction to your strenuous walk up the slope this morning. Yay, fitness!
  • Stare at a lamp and then pretend the spot that shows up when you blink is a therapist.
  • Stress balls: touch ‘em. That’s physical contact, right?
  • Sit in the waiting room at Cornell Health as though your appointment is today. This is a very funny prank for you to pull on yourself, because your appointment is NOT today, and won’t be for about two months. LOL!
  • Stop agonizing over your GPA. Ultimately, what matters most in college is hard work, passion, and having fun, as long as that still gets you into med school!
  • Believe in yourself. Unlike CAPS, we can confirm you do exist.
  • Sit.
  • Lie down.
  • Lie down on the floor.
  • Lie down on the floor hugging yourself.
  • Lie down on the floor hugging yourself and rocking back and forth like a sad little baby.
  • Drop a class or two to reduce stress. Or maybe don’t. Your mom would be mad.
  • Give yourself some “me time.” You’ll have 30+ days’ worth before you can have some “counseling time,” so get crackin’!
  • Dining hall food isn’t always the healthiest; venture out and explore your options in Collegetown! Try CTB: it’s good for you, and it also takes an extremely long time. CTB is the therapy of food.
  • Sleep. Unless you’re going to CAPS for insomnia, amirite? Hahahaha!
  • Keep your chin up. That way the tears don’t fuck up your mascara!
  • Get a security blanket and imagine that the safe, warm blanket surrounding you is a university that prioritizes your needs. Think of the blanket as a welcoming friend. But also, keep in mind it’s just a blanket. Don’t get attached.


Mental Health Win! Cornell Adds Three More Counselors To Serve Population of 23,000

After years of complaints, it looks like Cornell may finally be listening to the student body. Today the university announced they will be adding not one, not even two, but THREE full-time counselors for Cornell’s 23,000 undergraduate, graduate, and professional students!

These aren’t just any counselors they’re hiring, either. All three counselors are incredibly well-qualified to work with students, each having either once been a student themself or having known other college students. Adriana, Jen, and Peter will have absolutely no problem handling each of a mere 2 dozen thousand students’ mental health concerns.

If you’re a student, get ready for your life to change. Students on the appointment waitlist, for example, are expected to see their average remaining three-month wait brought down by as much as six business days. Good luck finding something to complain about now!