October 2, 2018

DIY Therapy for Your Month-Long Wait for CAPS

While you’re waiting 30 or more days for professional treatment to address your mental health problems, CU Nooz has a list of fun things that you can do in the meantime!

  • Try talking to an empty chair. Empty chairs are basically the same thing as people.
  • Tell yourself your hyperventilation is a delayed reaction to your strenuous walk up the slope this morning. Yay, fitness!
  • Stare at a lamp and then pretend the spot that shows up when you blink is a therapist.
  • Stress balls: touch ‘em. That’s physical contact, right?
  • Sit in the waiting room at Cornell Health as though your appointment is today. This is a very funny prank for you to pull on yourself, because your appointment is NOT today, and won’t be for about two months. LOL!
  • Stop agonizing over your GPA. Ultimately, what matters most in college is hard work, passion, and having fun, as long as that still gets you into med school!
  • Believe in yourself. Unlike CAPS, we can confirm you do exist.
  • Sit.
  • Lie down.
  • Lie down on the floor.
  • Lie down on the floor hugging yourself.
  • Lie down on the floor hugging yourself and rocking back and forth like a sad little baby.
  • Drop a class or two to reduce stress. Or maybe don’t. Your mom would be mad.
  • Give yourself some “me time.” You’ll have 30+ days’ worth before you can have some “counseling time,” so get crackin’!
  • Dining hall food isn’t always the healthiest; venture out and explore your options in Collegetown! Try CTB: it’s good for you, and it also takes an extremely long time. CTB is the therapy of food.
  • Sleep. Unless you’re going to CAPS for insomnia, amirite? Hahahaha!
  • Keep your chin up. That way the tears don’t fuck up your mascara!
  • Get a security blanket and imagine that the safe, warm blanket surrounding you is a university that prioritizes your needs. Think of the blanket as a welcoming friend. But also, keep in mind it’s just a blanket. Don’t get attached.

 

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