August 23, 2016

Sorry Mom! This Freshman Hired An Olympic Weightlifter To Help Him Move In

Life hack alert! This seriously smart freshman Jacob Rodkin ‘20 decided enough was enough and hired an olympic weightlifter to help him move in instead of his own mother! Sorry mom, but this move-in just got jacked!

Rodkin says the idea came to him when he was watching the Olympics and realized how much stronger an Olympic athlete is than the caring, warm-hearted person who raised him for the entirety of his life. “I simply realized that, physically, my mother is weak and scrawny. While an olympic weightlifter is big and strong,” Rodkin stated with triumph at his own idea.

When approached for comment, Rodkin’s mother, the woman who bursts into tears at the sheer thought of Rodkin leaving her for a new chapter of his life, was nowhere to be found.

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