Tag Archives: Freshman

How To Justify To Marie Kondo That Empty Alcohol Bottles Bring You Joy

It might feel like Ithaca winter will drag on forever, but spring cleaning time will be here before you know it. And who better to consult for advice than Marie Kondo, author of the best-selling “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and star of her eponymous Netflix series? So here’s Read More

How To Tell If That Cool Girl In Your FWS Is Actually Cool Or Has Internalized Affectations Of The “Cool Girl” Role Due To Societal Pressures

It’s true – that girl in MEDVL 1101: Young Idiots vs. Toxic Elders with you seems really cool. But is she actually cool, or is she just an angsty little ball of insecurity desperately yearning to be perceived as cool because she never got over her lack of friends in Read More

Inspiring: This Freshman Signed Up For a Class With None of the Prereqs and Now He’s Fucked

It’s definitely not easy taking a class you know absolutely nothing about. But Luke Zhang ‘23 enrolled in PHYS 4230: Statistical Thermodynamics despite having taken none of its three prerequisite classes. And it was a huge mistake! “I don’t really have the math background to be in this class. Or Read More

21 FWS Names I’m Ashamed To Have On My Transcript

1) FWS: Let’s Play — I got a C- in Yahtzee. 2) FWS: Modern Romance: Dating and Relationships Among Young Adults — “Hot tip,” said my sixty-year-old professor, “say, ‘Hiya toots!’ by the jukebox, and y be doing the jitterbug in no time.” 3) FWS: Talk. Writing is for Pussies Read More

A Shame To Their Country: These Un-American 17 Year-Old Freshmen Didn’t Vote

Our extraordinary democracy stands as a pillar of individual freedom, liberty, and humanity’s celebration of self-autonomy. A beacon of American exceptionalism, our ballot boxes serve as a representation of our country’s greatest ideals. However, there somehow are still 17 year-old Cornell freshmen who would dare to stain our beautiful nation Read More

Inspiring: This Freshman Already Knows Exactly What She’s Going To Do for the Rest of Her Life

When Sara Nelson first arrived at Cornell, her major was undeclared, and she wasn’t even sure if she was going to drop Gen Chem or stick with it. Well just look at her now, one week later. This inspiring freshman already knows exactly what she’s going to do with her Read More