August 27, 2018

Move-In Disaster: This Freshman Only Brought Fireworks and Spider Lamps

Look, we all know the freshman struggle, stressing about what to bring to school and making sure we have everything we need for the first year of college. And hey, maybe you forgot to bring a few things, or maybe even took along something prohibited by mistake! But one freshman this year takes the cake for biggest move-in blunders. Devon Mackenzie ’20 showed up at Court Hall with – get this – seven boxes of fireworks and spider lamps, and nothing else.


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Devon! What were you thinking?!?

I mean, you’ve got to feel a little bad for this kid. How was he supposed to know that explosives and potentially dangerous lighting fixtures weren’t going to fly in CKB? Mistakes happen, and I understand that. But honestly, this guy didn’t even bring a toothbrush or an extra pair of socks. Literally only fireworks and spider lamps. In college, that just won’t cut it.


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I don’t know where you’re from, Devon, but here in Ithaca we do things a bit differently. If you want to survive four years at Cornell University, you’re going to need to get a good winter coat, a durable pair of boots, and you’ll really need to talk to the police about all of those fireworks.

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