Tag Archives: Freshmen

Oopsies! This Naughty Little Freshman Showed Up To His Swim Test In A Tiny, Tiny Speedo

Darren Stintman “thought” he was just gonna take your regular ol’ garden variety swim test, but when he arrived at Helen-Newman, Darren “realized” he had made a big no-no. He showed up to the swim test in just a tiny, tiny speedo. Nothing else! Despite repeated pleading from the instructor Read More

Devastating: Mufasa Was Trampled to Death in a Stampede Of Freshman

Disaster struck Ithaca this Friday night, when it was reported that Mufasa, King of Pride Rock, passed away from injuries sustained after being trampled by dozens of drunk freshmen in Collegetown. In a statement yesterday, Ithaca Police stated that Mufasa was hunting for food for his family on College Ave Read More