October 2, 2017

Class of 2021 By Some Numbers

People from Donlon are more likely to have more than one penis


17% of the class doesn’t think Morrill Hall Exists


37% of the class has woken up with a horse head in their bed. The other 63% better let us do the talkin’


100% of the freshman class wants to fuck me


99% of students prefer Claritin™  over other leading allergy medications currently on the market (this question brought to you by Claritin™)


23% of students have touched a boob, sideways


15% of freshmen still want to be cowboys


Over half the class thinks Touchdown The Bear is hot and scruffy


45% of males throw around “Teagle Down” in conversation to show dominance


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