December 1, 2016

7 Cornell Dairy Cows That Should Stop Being So Goddamn Arrogant

We all love our dairy cows. We need them to make our awesome milk and ice cream and keep the ag kids preoccupied. They’re super cute too! But occasionally these cows can get a little cocky. Here are seven that went too fucking far:

1. This son of bitch thinks he’s all that because they use his milk to make Bavarian Raspberry Fudge ice cream. Hey, why don’t you get off your high horse, bud!

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2. Look at this guy with his snout stuck up in the air like he owns the damn place. I don’t think so man. Learn some goddamn respect.

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3. Wow. This bovine. Who the FUCK does she think she is?

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4. Yeah ok. So you got an A in PChem. We get it. You don’t have to keep telling everyone about it.

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5. This mare keeps trying to tell me the best temperature for trying to pickle an egg. I think I know how to pickle a fucking egg and I don’t need you telling me what to do, you arrogant prick.

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6. This is Rick. Rick recently switched from a Physics to a French Literature major and keeps telling us we should do what makes us happy and not what earns the most money. Why don’t you go back to reading some Albert Camus bullshit or something? Conceited bastard.

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7. I used to like this backstabbing fuck before he told all my friends to stop being friends with me because ONCE I sang along to a Nickelback song when I was with him. IT WAS ONE GODDAMN TIME. Maybe if you understood the subtle metaphors of Photograph you would stop being such a fucking buzzkill all the damn time.

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