November 27, 2018

Move Over, A.D. White Library! Magical Harry Potter Bathroom Has Had Girl Crying in Stall for Past Two Weeks

We’ve all been told that the A.D. White Library looks ripped straight out of Hogwarts, but after fourteen days of a girl crying nonstop in a Dickson Hall bathroom, the reign of A.D. White as Cornell’s most potter-y location is finally coming to an end.

Ever since students first noticed the crying coming from the first-floor bathroom in mid-November, the sounds have transported everyone in the bathroom or adjacent dorm rooms to the whimsical setting of J.K. Rowling’s novels. “Every time I hear another burst of cries from the third stall, I feel like I can hop on a broomstick and play a Quidditch match or cast a bunch of Cruciatus curses,” said Dickson resident Erica Cai ‘22.

While the bathroom may not hold the entrance to the chamber of secrets, it has nevertheless become popular for students looking to add a bit of the Wizarding World to their everyday lives. Whether students head inside to finish a problem set, study for a prelim, or just to hang with friends, the unending moans of despair create a breathtaking vibe that the A.D. White Library just can’t match.

“As someone who was devastated when I didn’t receive a letter from Hogwarts on my 11th birthday, the A.D. White Library just never cut it,” said Shirley Collins ‘20. “How could I believe I was in Hogwarts when there was no restricted section, and the staircases didn’t even move! But after hearing the so-realistic cries of the bathroom stall girl, well, I just knew I’d found what I was searching for.”

Though stall occupier’s tears have drawn Potterheads from all over campus to Dickson Hall, the Peeves impersonator prowling the halls of Low Rise 6 late at night has been received far worse.

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