Wow, who knew people like this even existed? You put your laundry in, wait almost an hour, then you come back to dry them only to discover some weirdo took them all out of the washer, put them on the counter and licked all of them. Those are my clothes you just licked!
Seriously, what the hell.
I was going to come back to get them in FIVE MINUTES. All you had to do was wait five minutes, but it looks like you just had to run your wet, slobbery tongue all over my wardrobe. That’s just crossing the line. Did my socks really taste that good, dude? Did they?
I can’t believe people like this exist. I understand that if it’s been more than ten minutes and I still haven’t moved my stuff into the dryer yet, probably a lot of people will want to lick my clean clothes. But I always try to grab them in under two minutes, and every single time I come back and find my best shirts drenched in saliva. Enough is enough already!
Sometimes I go into the laundry room and the machines are all full. I’ll admit, the thought of taking someone else’s clothes out of the washer and shoving them in my mouth is pretty tempting. But I try to be as polite as possible, and I’ll be sure to wait until the rightful owner of those clothes retrieves them so they can have something to wear tomorrow that hasn’t been nibbled on by a total stranger. And I suggest all of you follow my example.