QUIZ: Does This Count As a Costume? October 27, 2017UncategorizedNooz Staff 1. My regular clothes with a wacky bowler hat I found? Sure! You look like that guy from that one thing— Oh! It’s the surrealist Magritte painting of the dude with a green apple over his face. So clever that the simple addition of a wacky bowler hat to your regular outfit should also speak to the ubiquitous intrigue of hidden truth. Of course not. Get yourself a cane and a monocle, you stupid idiot. 2. A fun drawing of a circle that I made on my cheek? Okay! That sure is something. Wow, what a brilliant way to convey that in each of us lies the ability to hold the infinite, with which we connect on the blank canvasses of our cheeks that might lift our expressions into smiles conveying a sense of fulfillment and the whole. No! Why would you think this is a costume? Who led you to believe that would be suitable attire for my party, Rebecca? 3. Borrowed barely-clothes from a friend who actually goes out? Totally! I dig it. Yes! I commend you on standing up for de-sexualizing female skin and reclaiming your beauty because it is high time women everywhere shamelessly celebrated their gorgeous bodies by dressing how they damn please. Also, free all nipples. God damn it, Rebecca. What are you going as? Explain to me what this costume is. You know this party means a lot to me, and this is honestly disgraceful. Put a jacket on. Please. Jesus Christ. 4. A t-shirt with a sign that says “costume” taped to it? Nice! You’re really getting into the Halloween spirit Rebecca. Holy shit, this is profound and really hit home— I, too, feel that I might be masquerading as someone else, lost in my silent search for identity, forced to live every day under a disguise that those who think they know me mistake for my true self. I’m blown away. Brava. Listen to me. Halloween is a sacred rite that has been practiced for generations, and it deserves your respect. It is not a game. It is not an excuse for people to eat mini Snickers bars while dressed like spunky raccoons. Halloween is important, and it is fed up with your bullshit. Loading … Question 1 of 4 Related Posts“I Love Your Style!” and Twenty-Five Other Compliments to Give Your Friend Who Made Spitting Noises for Thirty Minutes at Their A Cappella ConcertGodspeed, Loyal Friend! Most Steadfast Donkey Collapses on Arduous Journey Up College Ave Like This!