November 10, 2017

Listen Up, Freshmen! Here Are All the Hockey Traditions You Need to Know

1. Throw fish at Harvard

It is known that to stay in good standing at Harvard College, students must abstain from all fish consumption, as it will only pollute their minds with dark, aquatic thoughts. Throwing tuna, albacore, and other various nautical lifeforms is guaranteed to throw them off

2. Throw Colgate at Colgate

That’s right! While Colgate University spans an impressively large 575 acres, the total combined strength of Cornell’s student body makes throwing Colgate’s own campus at them an easy and demoralizing feat!

3. Call out all of the opposing goalie’s greatest fears and weaknesses

For this one, it’s super important to do your research. I’m not talking your casual Facebook and Twitter stalking. Private investigators are highly recommended, and if you have a friend who interned at the NSA, even better!

4. Stop, drop, and roll

Despite the freezing temperature of the arena, some have found this technique to work like a placebo effect, convincing the enemy team that they are actually on fire when there are no flames to be found. For bonus points, actually light the stadium on fire!

5. Call in a bomb threat to all of the opposing school’s buildings

While the entire opposing team is busy worrying about the lives and safety of their friends and colleagues, team Cornell will be slamming that puck ‘till the cows come home

6. Perform Chinese water torture on the opposing goalie

Due to the cold environment, it’s important to keep the water boiling hot for this one so it doesn’t freeze on the goalie’s face!

7. Ritual blood sacrifice

Is it really a Cornell hockey game if Beelzebub doesn’t play a minor role?

8. Soft Pretzels

Now these are just plain good. Try dipping them in some mustard for a little kick!

9. Distract the opposing players by transcribing a best-selling Agatha Christie novel onto a sign

With her entrancing mysteries, Agatha Christie has become notorious amongst the hockey community for distracting players with her twisting tales of intrigue, leaving them on the edge of their skates ‘till the moment the buzzer rings.

10. Make sure to collect all the teeth that the hockey players lose so they get a visit from the tooth fairy that night

With this tradition, it’s important to draw black sharpie on the teeth in your mouth that correspond to the one’s you collected. The tooth fairy is a notorious stickler when it comes to the tooth-transfers, so you’re gonna have to trick her into thinking you actually lost the teeth.

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