April 29, 2019

Real-Life Avengers! After Graduation, Half Your Friends Will Disappear

If you have friends in the Class of 2019, you’re getting ready for the emotional transition from always spending time together to not seeing each other for a long, long time, if ever. Eventually, your memories of one another will begin to dissipate, like dust in the wind. It’ll be just like they vanished into the ether.

Sick!! Just like when Thanos used the infinity gauntlet!

You’re going to part—possibly forever—with people you care deeply about, whose lives have had a serious impact on your own. And… that’s SO DOPE. They’ll basically vanish into thin air. You’ll be like, “WHAT?! WHERE’D YOU GOOO?!” And then, the craziest part? They won’t answer! It’ll be like their lives were taken by the soul stone!

Who knows what it’s gonna be like when fifty percent of all your friends are gone? That’s probably going to leave a huge emotional hole in your psyche. Which is fucking BADASS—you’ll be like a real-life superhero! Talk about a nice, edgy backstory. What’s next? Maybe someone will do something as cool as killing your parents!

Anyway, I’m pretty jealous of that whole superhero life. I wish I was lucky enough to have friends to miss.

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