Tag Archives: Academics

Class Traitor? Classmate Didn’t Give Me A 100% On Our Peer Graded Quiz

BAILEY HALL—This past Tuesday, in what has been a most shocking act of sabotage and treachery, Isabella Palacio 23’ received a less than a perfect score on her peer graded assessment at the hands of her classmate-turned-archnemesis Toby Grimes 22’.   “I’m on the edge of tears just talking about it,” Read More

Awkward! Professor Keeps Putting Ugly Pet On Zoom

ZOOM—Torturing his students with the horrific sight of his cat Muffins, Cornell ethics professor Daniel Shrocket made it a point to direct his camera front-and-center whenever his frightful bundle of hairballs stalked across his room. Students in the class have expressed their inability to discern why anyone would adopt such Read More

Erudite Scholar! This Engineer Actually Does The Optional Textbook Reading

ZOOM—Obnoxiously trying to broaden his horizons and get the most out of his short time at Cornell, sophomore Alex Latell ‘23 is willing to go above and beyond the call of duty to understand Data Structures.  “When I asked my friends their thoughts on last week’s optional reading, they originally Read More

Bold! CUPB Assumes Hannibal Buress Funnier Over Zoom Than My Technologically Inept 86-Year-Old Economics Professor

This post is sponsored by CUPB! Cornell University Program Board is proud to (virtually) welcome Hannibal Buress, a cast member on Broad City and co-host on the Eric Andre Show. This FREE moderated and audience Q&A is only open to the Cornell Community on a first come, first serve basis. Read More

How To Tell If That Cool Girl In Your FWS Is Actually Cool Or Has Internalized Affectations Of The “Cool Girl” Role Due To Societal Pressures

It’s true – that girl in MEDVL 1101: Young Idiots vs. Toxic Elders with you seems really cool. But is she actually cool, or is she just an angsty little ball of insecurity desperately yearning to be perceived as cool because she never got over her lack of friends in Read More

Power Move: TA Uses Lecture Hall Microphone in Discussion Section of 12 Students

A small discussion section for ECON 3120 got more than they bargained for Thursday morning when TA Tyler Kettle whipped out a large headset microphone clearly intended for use in a large auditorium. “Let’s start by going over the syllabus…” Tyler started, acting confident that his dominance had been asserted Read More

Inspiring: This Freshman Signed Up For a Class With None of the Prereqs and Now He’s Fucked

It’s definitely not easy taking a class you know absolutely nothing about. But Luke Zhang ‘23 enrolled in PHYS 4230: Statistical Thermodynamics despite having taken none of its three prerequisite classes. And it was a huge mistake! “I don’t really have the math background to be in this class. Or Read More

Best Day Ever? This Physics Lecture Was Canceled Because the Professor Was in the Hospital

Classes haven’t even been going for a week, but today the students of PHYS 2207 received the best news they’ll get all semester—when they all arrived at class this morning, they were informed that lecture was canceled because their professor was in the hospital! Talk about good fortune! Some days Read More