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Quiz: Can You Fill Out The Matchmaking Survey to Avoid Getting Coupled With Gary From Your 10am?

Nooz Staff5 years ago01 mins

1. What is your ideal location for a first date?

CTB. Gary comes in with a Starbucks cup every morning, so he probably won’t choose this. Likely a good option.

The Commons. Gary doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would enjoy walking around a lot… or does he? This one’s risky.

Libe Café. DO NOT CHOOSE THIS. You’ve had to avoid eye contact with Gary SO MUCH in Libe that you should probably just stop going there altogether.

A frat party. The nice thing about this one is if you go out with Gary here, you can slip into the crowd and try to hide.

2. What is your major, or at least what is a major that you think isn’t compatible with Gary’s so the algorithm doesn’t put you two together?

AEM. Wait, do you even remember Gary’s major? The algorithm probably only matches AEM majors with each other and Gary definitely isn’t an athlete, so this may be a good idea.

ILR. Is Gary ILR? He’s definitely mentioned his major to you. Shit.

History. Gary seems to really like when the professor talks about anything math-related, so maybe he’s an engineer, or at least a math or econ major.

Physics. Oh shit! That’s the one.

3. What are you looking for out of this match? Is it even possible to avoid choosing the same thing as Gary here? He seems to always run into you in every situation, so of course you’ll make the same choice here. Might as well try, I guess.

Marriage. At least if you get matched with someone else for this one there will never again be a possibility of going on a date with Gary.

A relationship. This one seems pretty standard, so it may be safe. But sometimes what you think is safe turns out to be the riskiest choice of all.

See how the first date goes. You know, even if you get matched with Gary, maybe going on one date with him wouldn’t be so bad?

One night stand. Gary wouldn’t just want to use you like that, he must want something more serious.

4. What trait do you value most in a partner? Also, the more you think about it, maybe giving Gary a chance isn’t the worst idea? You have been single for a while.

He is nice and respectful, and does seem legitimately interested in you. You’ve never done anything but push him away, so getting to know him in a different context could change your perception of him.

And at this point, can you really turn away any option? You’ve redownloaded Tinder upwards of five times, and never had a relationship last longer than a few months.

What was this question about again? Oh wow, you have not been paying attention to the answers at all. This option is sense of humor, which Gary has, though his is very different from yours.

He always is the only one laughing at the professor’s jokes, which is kind of cute, in a way. You kinda wish he’d smile that way at you.

5. This last question is about what TV shows you like, but you’ve really moved past thinking about the questions.

It’s inevitable that you’re going to get matched with Gary. The sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.

Wait, is this really what your standards have sunken to? You’re not even attracted to the guy!

You can do so much better! Maybe you should try putting yourself out there more like Sarah keeps telling you to do.

It’s 2019, damnit! Why don’t you take charge and ask out the guy in your 1:25 that you think is kinda cute? You are a strong, powerful woman, and you shouldn’t need a matching algorithm to choose your love life for you.

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