By Miley Mortgage I know you sexually frustrated quarintiners probably want me to tell you some empowering story about me letting go of my insecurities while getting my pussy stuffed by three strangers in the clocktower. Maybe you’d like to read a feel-good tale of how I finally taught Jake the difference between the urethra…
Absinthe and Anal Body Shots and Butt Plugs Cocktails and Cock Rings Daiquiris and Double Penetration Eggnog and Edging Fireball and Facials Grey Goose and Golden Showers Hennessy and Hot Wax Irish Whiskey and Inflatables Jungle Juice and Japanese Tentacles Keg Stands and Kidnappings Limoncello and Leashes Moonshine and Muzzle Gags Natty and Nipple Clamps…
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Thought you were a special student? Think again! After years of studying psychology, Francis Elkhart ‘21 is making a name for himself as the next Sigmund Freud. His secret? He has an unrelenting desire to fuck his mother! No other psychology student has anything close to Francis’s gift for wanting to schlong his…
It was last weekend when he came to me. I was sitting in my dorm late Saturday night, once again alone and lusting for something more. He appeared right as I was falling asleep. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the booklet of gospel hymns that was thrust towards me on Ho…
The campus blackout was definitely unexpected, and for anyone who was in the middle of doing homework when their internet cut out, that absolutely sucks. But you have to admire the forethought that Allie Jacobson ‘19 put into her day when the power cut out and she didn’t lose any important documents on her computer…
Don’t you hate when your roommate is banging his significant other and their amount of spice is sorely lacking? We sure used to, until we came up with 69 sure-fire ways to spice up their raucous fuck sessions! Officiate a marriage between them Throw the two of them oxygen masks and claim they’re in a…