Tag Archives: Sex

No Sex on Thursday: My Mom and I Watched Them Pick the Wrong House on House Hunters International And Then I Went to Bed at 9PM

By Miley Mortgage I know you sexually frustrated quarintiners probably want me to tell you some empowering story about me letting go of my insecurities while getting my pussy stuffed by three strangers in the clocktower. Maybe you’d like to read a feel-good tale of how I finally taught Jake Read More

Champagne and Shackles Not Kinky Enough? Try These Alternative Date Nights:

Absinthe and Anal Body Shots and Butt Plugs Cocktails and Cock Rings Daiquiris and Double Penetration Eggnog and Edging Fireball and Facials Grey Goose and Golden Showers Hennessy and Hot Wax Irish Whiskey and Inflatables Jungle Juice and Japanese Tentacles Keg Stands and Kidnappings Limoncello and Leashes Moonshine and Muzzle Read More

The Next Sigmund Freud? This Psychology Student Wants to Fuck His Mom!

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Thought you were a special student? Think again! After years of studying psychology, Francis Elkhart ‘21 is making a name for himself as the next Sigmund Freud. His secret? He has an unrelenting desire to fuck his mother! No other psychology student has anything close to Francis’s gift Read More

Innovative! This Student Didn’t Lose Any Important Documents During The Blackout Because She Was Watching Pornography

The campus blackout was definitely unexpected, and for anyone who was in the middle of doing homework when their internet cut out, that absolutely sucks. But you have to admire the forethought that Allie Jacobson ‘19 put into her day when the power cut out and she didn’t lose any Read More