Student Assembly

Crisis Averted! Almighty Student Assembly Obliterates ILR-HumEc Merger with Sternly-Worded Resolution

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago01 mins

Dropping the cold hammer of institutional justice, the Student Assembly smote the unpopular ILR-Human Ecology merger this past week by passing an entirely symbolic Resolution. Whoopee! via GIPHY The all-powerful protectors of the student body convened Wednesday and, with the ruthless efficiency we’ve come to expect from the SA, struck down the insidious proposal in…

SJWs Beware: This Article WILL Trigger You

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago01 mins

Offended already? Well you better buckle up, because this ain’t your average, play-it-safe humor thinkpiece. We’re finally bringing it to you over-sensitive, politically-correct liberals – and you can’t hide from our First Amendment-delivered tirade of truth in your Tumblr posts and pinterest profiles. Where are your safe spaces now?? If you’re looking for some warm…

Check Out The Student Assembly Seats That Are Up for Election This Fall!

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago02 mins

Student Assembly elections start on September 26th! Do you know which SA positions are on the ballot this Fall? Take a look at the open seats here! Song Leader Slope Dude Director of SA Committee for Un-Cornellian Activities Mitt Romney Senior Soothsayer Dungeon Sweeper Master of Ceremonies Representative of Representatives to the Representatives of the…

Can You Tell a Student Assembly Meeting from Your Family Fighting at Thanksgiving?

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

I LIVED IT: I Swiped Up On Spotify While Clearing My Apps and Had To Live With The Unbearable Pain of My Unadulterated Thoughts for 5 Seconds

Ah Shit: Weird Roommate Staring At You While Brushing Their Teeth Again

“I Love Your Style!” and Twenty-Five Other Compliments to Give Your Friend Who Made Spitting Noises for Thirty Minutes at Their A Cappella Concert

Godspeed, Loyal Friend! Most Steadfast Donkey Collapses on Arduous Journey Up College Ave

False Advertising? Farmers at Farmers’ Market Not Available for Purchase

Day of Atonement Fail! Student Still Business Major

Crisis Averted! Almighty Student Assembly Obliterates ILR-HumEc Merger with Sternly-Worded Resolution

SJWs Beware: This Article WILL Trigger You

Check Out The Student Assembly Seats That Are Up for Election This Fall!

Can You Tell a Student Assembly Meeting from Your Family Fighting at Thanksgiving?