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Can You Identify All Your Frat Brothers?

You may think you’re done rushing, but you gotta know all your brothers by now, or you’re not really one of us. How bad do you want to be one of us?

1. Yo, who’s this?

I know this! That’s Brandon, he’s an AEM major from Long Island.

I don’t know.

2. We thought we’d start you off with an easy one. Now, can you tell me who this is?

I think it’s Andrew. He’s from Syosset and is in the Dyson school.

That’s the same person.

3. That was Andrew. But don’t think you’re done yet, because we’ve got more brothers than that. Who’s this one?

I’d know Jeremy anywhere. He’s studying business, and he grew up in Nassau County.

Okay, you’re definitely fucking with me.

4. Jeremy and I go way back. We grew up together. Okay, bro, how about this one?

He’s from Great Neck, and I think he does Applied Economics or Management or something like that. He’s named Tyler.

Am I going crazy?

5. Tyler once beat this guy up when he tried to hit on my girlfriend. He’s a good guy. Next one:

How could I forget Mike? He grew up on the Island, and just transferred into AEM.

Seriously, they’re all the same person, right?

6. Oh man, Mike did me a real solid last week filling in to sober for me. That’s just what brothers do for each other. Alright, we got some more:

Kevin “The Squeege” Berman. Going to get his MBA next year. LI born and bred.

Okay guys, I get the joke. You can stop now.

7. The Squeege once saved me from getting hit by a car. That’s how close frat brothers get. You might get that close with this dude, if you know who he is…

I’d know Stanky Jeff anywhere. He was born in Easthampton, but now he lives in Westhampton. And he’s doing business stuff in CALS.

Stop. Just stop it. Now.

8. Stanky Jeff delivered my younger sister when my mom gave birth. Guys in the same frat are always there for each other for life. Who is this one?

He’s definitely not a brother.

Finally someone different! Oh thank Christ. I don’t know who he is, but it’s someone different.

9. That was a trick question. He’s not in the frat; he doesn’t have the look of a brother. This gentleman on the other hand…

He’s from Jericho, studying economía y gestión aplicados with a minor in Spanish, it’s the one, the only: Sam “Slagathor, Destroyer of Souls” Rubin.

No. Nononononono. Just let me out.

10. Slag went back in time and saved one of my ancestors from dying of the plague so that my family could continue, and I would eventually be born. That’s just what bros do. Alright, here’s the last one.

Oh, that’s easy. He’s the first guy’s twin, Brett. They look exactly the same.

I…I just don’t know…I’m just gonna call my mother and tell her I love her.

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