Tag Archives: cornell university

How To Tell If That Cool Girl In Your FWS Is Actually Cool Or Has Internalized Affectations Of The “Cool Girl” Role Due To Societal Pressures

It’s true – that girl in MEDVL 1101: Young Idiots vs. Toxic Elders with you seems really cool. But is she actually cool, or is she just an angsty little ball of insecurity desperately yearning to be perceived as cool because she never got over her lack of friends in Read More

8 Bus Companies We’d Rather be Sued by Than ShortLine

Cornell Campus to Campus: C2C is a beloved student institution that runs from Cornell to New York City. We’d love to be sued by them almost as much as we’d love to be able to afford their tickets. Sure, they’re pricey and might take us for all we’re worth (approximately Read More

Inspiring: This Freshman Signed Up For a Class With None of the Prereqs and Now He’s Fucked

It’s definitely not easy taking a class you know absolutely nothing about. But Luke Zhang ‘23 enrolled in PHYS 4230: Statistical Thermodynamics despite having taken none of its three prerequisite classes. And it was a huge mistake! “I don’t really have the math background to be in this class. Or Read More

Out of Touch With Student Needs? I Said Hi to Martha Pollack And She Didn’t Say Hi Back

I don’t know about you, but I think that given today’s on-campus climate, students need support more than ever. I expect school officials to bend over backwards to let students know they’re on our side. That’s why I was profoundly disappointed yesterday when I greeted Martha Pollack on the sidewalk Read More

Life Hack: Save Time Writing Papers by Redacting Everything

Ever find yourself nine pages deep on a Friday night, trying to get to that sweet, sweet number 10? Well, our team of successful students and espionage attorneys have the perfect solution for you! Everyone knows about enlarging periods or expanding margins to lengthen your essay, but this one trick Read More

Palindrome Lovers Rejoice:Eciojer Srevol Emordnilap

If you’re a literary fanatic, you’re in luck—palindromes are back! !kcab era semordnilap—kcul ni er’uoy ,citanaf yraretil a er’uoy fI. 2019 is the year for words and phrases spelled the same backward and forward, and will have palindrome-haters shouting “Dammit, I’m mad,” according to Anna Renner, an avid diva. .avid Read More

Student With Job Interview Lookin’ All Fancy All of a Sudden

Walking around in a brand-spankin’ new suit and with a big fat leather resume folder to boot, students confirmed local senior Hari Srinivasan had a job interview and was lookin’ all fancy all of a sudden. “Whaaaat?” said fellow student Lindsey Fong. “This guy usually wears one kind of clothes, Read More

Family Making You Uncomfortable This Thanksgiving? Read This to Avoid Eye Contact!

So you’ve decided to take a phone break after 30 minutes of excruciating quality time with your aunts and uncles. We don’t blame you. We’re sure you’ve heard enough about how big you’ve gotten since five years ago and how Cornell is “one of those liberal safe space campuses.” You’ve Read More