DAY HALL—As more and more students have become fully vaccinated in the past weeks, President Martha Pollack announced earlier this morning a new university measure to encourage unvaccinated students to receive a COVID-19 shot. The initiative introduces an innovative approach for a move towards normalcy, requiring all vaccinated students to take advantage of their immunity…
In light of the growing number of COVID cases and the approaching holiday season, hoards of infected students have returned home to their families to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday like it was originally celebrated: with the spreading of potentially lethal infectious diseases. “Lately I’ve been trying to become more in touch with my colonizer roots,”…
While on a trek to Nasties for a 1:00 a.m. meatball sub, I suddenly realized that I was in what seemed to be a large forest. There wasn’t a soul in sight. You know what that means—I can let down my mask and breathe in the crisp fall air! No risk of COVID-19 transmission here!…
A number of students have expressed concern that the Fall 2020 semester may be virtual. However, local freedom fighter Madison Thorwart ‘21 went the extra mile, authoring a heartfelt Facebook post begging for an in-person fall semester prior to attending a 100-person Collegetown darty. Thorwart posted the following last Saturday at 10:08 AM: “My fellow…
It was a regular old Sunday morning, which meant dialing in for my extended family’s Sunday brunch Zoom call, and something about the way his face was getting red told me Uncle Gary was about to turn a whole lot of people dying into some political stance. I’d seen Gary’s Facebook tirades about how state…
It was just after I had returned from school on account of this whole coronavirus thing that I noticed dad was seeming a little more agitated than usual. Normally, he’s full of life, repeating Fox news talking points and complaining about incompetent employees at his office. Now, he’s stuck at home, and he keeps muttering…
The recent announcement from the Cornell administration has hit the student body hard—but even when grieving, it is important for us to follow the CDC guidelines on avoiding the spread of COVID-19! Wondering how to wipe your leaking eyes while being careful to keep your hands from touching your face? We have some effective, no-mess…