Get Ready Uncle Gary: Area Student Planning to Deliver Coming Out Speech Right Before Your Thanksgiving Prayer

LONG ISLAND—Local student Colin Roban ’22 is reportedly preparing to inform his family that he is gay during the annual Thanksgiving dinner held at the home of his aunt and uncle, Susan and Gary Gates. Having explored and confirmed his sexuality while at Cornell, Roban expressed that he felt it was important to announce his…

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Alice Song / Sun Staff Photographer

Crisis Averted! Almighty Student Assembly Obliterates ILR-HumEc Merger with Sternly-Worded Resolution

Dropping the cold hammer of institutional justice, the Student Assembly smote the unpopular ILR-Human Ecology merger this past week by passing an entirely symbolic Resolution. Whoopee! via GIPHY The all-powerful protectors of the student body convened Wednesday and, with the ruthless efficiency we’ve come to expect from the SA, struck down the insidious proposal in…

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