September 14, 2017

Sex on Thursdays: How to Make His Head Literally Explode

Blowjobs can be pretty confusing to navigate! Recently, the Daily Sun published an article called “How to Give Mind-Blowing Head,” but we all know sometimes that’s just not enough. Get ready to learn how to make his head literally explode:

  1. Alternate between gliding your tongue and really sucking that dick. If you get lost, remember it’s like bobbing for apples.
  2. Don’t forget to make eye contact! It’ll drive him wild.
  3. Okay, now it’s time to get to business!
  4. Roll up your sleeves and put those safety goggles on. If you have long hair, tie it back.
  5. Measure out 709.76 mL of acetic acid in a plastic bottle and 32 grams of NaHCO₃.
  6. Finger in the butthole. This doesn’t help in any way, but it’s fun to do. If you’ve always wanted to do it, now would be the time.
  7. Using a funnel, carefully pour the NaHCO₃ into the liquid. You should observe an immediate chemical reaction.
  8. Cap the bottle tightly.
  9. Quick! Step back!
  10. Now watch, you sexy thing, as you make his head literally explode.

Hopefully you can use these tips to spice things up in the bedroom!

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