Cornell students are all used to pretty awful drinks, and everybody has tried the college basics by now. So we went around campus asking students which they thought was worse: Keystone Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, or the ancient torture technique of waterboarding? Here’s what we found.
Jordan Burnmauer ’17: Wha… What kind of question is that? Obviously waterboarding. Is that even a question? That’s terrible.
Karen Woodson ’19: Um… Is waterboarding a type of mixed drink? I’ve never heard of it. Are you talking about the medieval torture method? Then definitely no. Actually, no either way.
Guy Harrington ’16: I’m a PBR guy, so I’d say Keystone probably. If I get to a party and there’s only Keystone, I’ll definitely start searching for PBR or a place to be waterboarded.
Omar Perez ’18: Look, Keystone and PBR are pretty bad, but I’ll drink one if it means I’m not tied down to a table while I feel like I’m drowning.
Jackie Kim ’17: Ah, tough choice! I don’t really like any of them. Hmm, I guess Keystone!
Isaac Morrison ’16: I’ve been waterboarded. I still pick PBR.
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