April 10, 2017

Gross! This Roommate Forgot to Throw Out His Decomposing Goat Carcass Before Break

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We’ve all heard awful roommate stories before, but none as bad as this.

After Spring Break, Dylan Murphy ‘19 returned to his Becker Hall dorm only to discover, to his dismay, that his roommate Chad Stapleton ‘19 accidentally left a bloody goat carcass from their vernal equinox pagan sacrifice out in the open for THE ENTIRE BREAK.

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Ew! What gives, Stapleton? Trying to win the Worst Roommate of the Year Award?

Stapleton was supposed to properly dispose of the goat before closing up the room, but foolishly thought that either the Norse god Freyr would consume it or the Becker cleaning crew would throw it out instead.

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“Now my room smells like rotten meat,” said an infuriated Murphy. “Thanks a lot, Chad.”

As if matters could get any worse, both roommates were fined during room inspections because Stapleton forgot to hide an extension cord. Good going, you idiot!

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